5 must have financial conversations to have with your partner

We all know that personal finance is one of the most important aspects of a stable and fulfilling life. But, when it comes to relationships, so many of us hesitate and postpone having important financial conversations with our partner. 


Growing up in India, talking about money and personal finance can sometimes feel like a taboo subject. But, in the dating scene, it is almost always seen as greedy and unacceptable. 


However, data clearly suggests that financial conflict is one of the top reasons for divorces in India and in the rest of the world. Having hard-hitting financial conversations and resolving any conflict that results from it can be key to having a long-term, secure relationship. 


Here are some questions that should kick start your financial conversations with your partner: 


1. Are you open to discussing money and finances with complete transparency?


Not everyone is open to revealing their financial information in a relationship. Depending on the cultural background and financial upbringing, your partner might hesitate to have a transparent conversation about money.


In these situations, it is critical to communicate the importance of such financial conversations for a long-term, stable relationship. You might also want to ease them into the conversation and give them some time before delving into heavy financial discussions. However, if someone is not willing to divulge any of their financial information even after mentioning it repeatedly, then it might be a relationship red flag. 


couple discussing finances


2. What are your financial goals?


It is important to know what your partner’s financial aspirations are. When do they want to retire? What kind of lifestyle do they want in their retirement? How do they judge financial success and what are they willing to do to achieve that? What are their financial priorities? 


Ideally, there should be two types of financial goals in a relationship. One that is shared and one that is personal to each partner. Both of these goals should complement each other. If there is a disconnect between the two, then it increases the chances of major future conflicts. 




3. What is your debt and investment profile? 


Knowing how much debt your partner is in and what their investment portfolio looks like will give you an idea about their financial status. This will tell you what their financial priorities are and how sound they are financially. 


Your shared financial goals will also be based on this. If both of you have significant debt, then you will have to prioritize becoming debt free over other things. Knowing each other’s credit score and income will also let you plan big spending and future goals in an accurate manner. 


Not only will you be setting the right financial expectations for the relationship but you can also help each other achieve financial stability. 


4. What is your expectation of financial responsibility in a relationship?


Having a clear boundary and expectation of each other’s financial responsibility will allow you to create harmony within the relationship and avoid any financial strain on one or both of the partners. These conversations can range from:


  • How do you feel about sharing the ownership of your funds with your partner?
  • Will you be comfortable with sharing a joint account in the future?
  • How much do you plan on spending on each other?
  • Would you be comfortable asking each other for money if the need arises?
  • Will it be comfortable if your partner becomes financially dependent on you in the future?
  • How do you want to split bills and spending?   


financial troubles in relationship


5. What is your best and worst financial habit? 


If your partner has a habit of getting into credit card debt or gambling or impulsive spending then it can heavily affect the financial condition of the relationship and can create a rift in the long term. Similarly, good financial habits like proper budgeting, investing, and financial planning can create financial stability and security within the relationship. 


Knowing these good and bad habits of your partner will give you an idea about how much financial adjustment you need to do to be financially compatible with them. Sometimes, these conversations will also inform you about any red flags that you might want to avoid. 


These are only a few easy topics to get you started on your journey of financial compatibility. Financial clarity in a relationship requires extensive and regular communication. It is also very important to know what your financial boundaries are and how much you can compromise in order to help your partner out of their financial troubles. 


Click here to read how a few bad financial habits can affect your long-term financial security. 


Read more: Zen And The Art Of Investing

Watch/hear on YouTube: How financially literate are you?



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